LOVE❤️ AND IT’S EVIL TWIN SISTER 💔

​Love like they say, is a beautiful thing. Truly beautiful. I mean letting someone see you bare, your insecurities, your flaws, your perfects even when you cry and allowing that same person to love you not for the image you’ve drawn in people’s heads but for you. Allowing them love you when you cry and when you’re at your lowest. Reciprocating the love too, beautiful. Loving someone genuinely because they make your life and better place with just their presence. With this in mind, I asked a few people to send in a time they’ve genuinely felt loved or a kind of love they’re happy has happened in their lifetime. 

 

‘TO FEEL.’

What is love?

Love is both a choice and a feeling.

Love is unselfish and loyal.

It's the pure concern for the good of another. It's comfort, companionship, and acceptance.

Love is a space for refuge, for pain and for growth. It’s being brave enough to give someone the parts of you that are messy, complicated and imperfect. It’s knowing that although they have the tools to break your heart, they’ll build you instead.

Love is doing things for someone that  when asked by someone else would be a bother. 

Love is walking through a world of pain and the thought of that one person gives you the strength to keep going.

Love is when those thought start to take more and more space in your heart.

To love is to feel.

There's this young woman, the one I truly love.

I once thought I was incapable of falling in love or being loved but she came into my life and changed the narrative. I dive deeper and deeper into her ocean of love and I don't plan to  ascend.

She came into my life and made my pain her pain, my happiness her happiness. I fell a lot of times and she was always there to pick me up and yet I messed things up with her.. I hurt her. I hurt the one woman that made my life a whole lot better. I think that's my biggest regret in all my years on earth. Just the thought of hurting her broke me. I totally lost myself.  We were apart for a long time and Lord that felt like the worst few months of my life. Being away from that one person that made your life worth living is definitely a feeling no one should ever feel. 

At a time of need, I ran back to her because she was the only one who could comfort me. She was, always have been and always will be the one person I can really open my heart to. After all that happened, she still was there for me. She didn't care If I messed her up. She didn't care that I made her cry. She supported me, comforted me, made sure I felt better. If this ain't love, I don't know what is. I mean, what else should I ask for?! She's everything and more.

Being told to write about one time I felt love doesn't work for me because I feel it every time I hear her voice, everytime a notification pops up with her name on it, anytime I unlock my device and gaze at her eyes staring back at me. I can keep on going and going and never stop.Her love follows me everywhere. When I'm down, the thought of her keeps me going. When I plan my life, I never fail to include her. If this ain't love, I don't know what is then.

Love isn't something you pick a date to celebrate to be honest, love is to be celebrated every single day because when love is true, it becomes a part of your everyday life.

 

To the woman I love, I can never stop loving you. You'll always be the one and nothing is gonna change that.

 

Omo, something I’m sure of is that this love thing will reach all of us sha. Definitely. Someone else sent a piece and this one actually gladdened my heart. It showed that love can be a genuine connection between two people and then, how beautiful it still is. 

 

“THE OTHER FORMS OF LOVE.”

 

When we hear the word Love, the first thing that comes to mind is Romance. We never get to talk about the other forms of love. 

Sometime last year I had to stay in the hospital with my twin who was ill at the time. This friend of mine came visiting the first night and was with me when I had to go get medications at the pharmacy and even outside the facility. If you have ever been to a government owned hospital, you will know how stressful it can be. The crazy part was he was also going through a personal loss of his own but he still found time to be there for me. Always reaching out and coming around to make sure we were doing okay during the time we spent there. It was really sweet and comforting.

So yeah speaking about experiencing genuine love, I guess this is my own story. It takes a lot to set aside your own pain and be there for someone else. 

These are the memories we cherish and friends we hold dear.

 

Friends who come through for you at your time of need are honestly so underrated. They show another form of love, still equally as genuine as it is pure and most definitely beautiful. 

 

“A MINTY KIND OF LOVE.”

 

This, is to someone who actually made me understand the true meaning of love. I saw the post about stories for the love piece and I just had to. For I’ve been shown a love so amazing, I’m afraid of it’s existence. I met someone in my first year of school and I’m honestly grateful that we crossed paths. In a world where teenagers are majorly lost and depressed, he was my pull back to sanity and even though I honestly don’t have enough to say because words do fail us at our most important moments, I’m grateful for him. I found love that kept me sane. I found a love so pure in this world of toxicity and even though we didn’t eventually end up together, I still think of you and smile. I’ll always be grateful for you. My moment I felt loved would most definitely be after I bared my whole soul to him. I spoke to him about it all. My depression, my disorder and it all. I spoke to him about my trauma and I invited him in. I had expected he would walk away because my life is honestly a horror movie but then this individual brings me Mint Coldstone and said 

 

“You said it was your favorite ice cream flavor.”

 

Sigh. Where are you people seeing this love? Give me your plug’s number abeg. I’ll use my savings to buy becauseee ah. Love is beautiful abeg. 

 

“LOVE EVEN IN EXPULSION.”

I've had a couple of unluckiness with women in secondary school. Tell me why an eight-year-old kid is writing beautiful love letters and is saying he's in love? Smh.

Although, I won the award for the best loser in the love game. There was one that was close to happening but failed.If asked a time I felt loved, this would be it It did hurt then, we both liked each other, and she's still pretty as ever—enough of my monologue. I'll give you the gist.

 

In 2014, I wrote my JSSCE exams. I met this lady, F, on the other campus. She was pretty, and we instantly connected. She was at the seat before mine in the exam hall. Throughout the exam, we bonded and got close. I liked her, and I made that known week into knowing each other. It's absurd, I know. We became good friends, and she spent on me because she felt she was richer. It was chill because we spent most of our time together talking about random things and all of that.

 

Exams finished, and we lost touch. I randomly got her contact in SS2 from a friend. We reconnected and exchanged pictures; ah, she was x10 prettier than she was two years ago. She had gotten a boyfriend then, but it was chill. One thing led to another, and she fell in love with me and quit her previous relationship. We didn't date, but we were close to dating. Then, the major issue was the distance - she wanted me always to be there. We called for hours and texted for hours for over a year. At some point, it became obvious that we were in love.

 

For my 14th birthday, she sent me a wristwatch. I still remember this gift because it made me the happiest man at that point solely because no one gifts me anything on my birthday. That watch was special, damn. I wore it with pride. I often believe it was that moment, the moment I actually felt loved.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out. She was expelled temporarily, and I was also close to being expelled. Now, we didn't do anything wrong… Another guy on her campus liked her, and one day when we went to their campus for a practical, they engaged us in a fight. The authorities said we were the cause, but my principal ( God bless her! ) stood by us and said no one from our section would be expelled.

 

She got hurt from the wordings from her house, and one of her aunts slapped her. She had to excuse me from her life at that point. It did hurt a lot. I could remember her crying on the phone, and it was sad. We met again for WASSCE, but she had moved on. We still stay in touch. 

 

You people were finding your moment of genuine love in secondary school? Ah. Nobody gave me the memo o. Mess upppp!

 

“SACRIFICIAL LOVE.”

With this human, I have different times I’ve felt loved. To me, love is sacrifice. The two most dear times I’ve felt loved though are what I’m going to talk about. There was a time my physical health was really failing and then I began to skip lectures, shut people out and all of that? This human just did everything for me at that point. She skipped all her classes too just to make sure I was doing okay and that in itself was a big sacrifice to me. To skip everything you take seriously just to make sure I was fine just really showed how much she cared for me and that in its entirety was loving.

Love, like I said is sacrifice so when she shifted her ideal of how disgusting PDA was to her and began to do couple-y things with me just because I wanted to, I felt loved. I don’t know if this is classified as love but I love it when you speak. So goofy and meek. I love it when you smile. To see you smile again. I’ll walk a mile. Your gaze, words can’t describe. Like a YouTube channel, I’ll always subscribe. I love the mood the thought of you gets me in. You make me feel really good. When you’re angry, I feel at pain. Because whoever did that had nothing to gain.

 

People in love do usually make be angry. Because ah! Broda why are you being so sweet and smiling and your cheeks are turning red when talking about this woman? Please please please no time for oppression o. 

 

 

 

What of when love turns sour though? C’mon we’re not hypocrites to believe there aren’t instances something so beautiful turns hurtful and hurts so much. Let’s agree. It would me hypocritical of me not to ask some people to send in their heartbreak stories. Here’s what they had to say below. 

 

“YORUBA ‘MR PERFECT’”

I had decided no more relationship kini at that point in my life. Ah! Men will embarrass you o. But at the same time, they’ll mesmerize you. A Yoruba man again?  He pretended to be a good guy and a perfect match for me and at that point, I believed him. He begged, convinced and pursued me for months and then, one thing led to another and I was in the relationship. 

My perfect match became my biggest wahala. 

Everything I did started to be wrong in his eyes and I was at fault and not ‘submissive’ because I refused to have sex with him. Omo we just started dating o. 

I was the one wrong and I was the one at fault because he claimed to be Mr Perfect. My confidence level? Down the drain because of this man. It reduced greatly. 

I often wonder how everything changed so fast. 

My ‘Mr Perfect’ that used to call me every minute just to check up on me refused to take my calls even though I placed a call through to him everyday. Yes, every single day. 

And then, when he finally decides to take the call, it was always one fight or the other. 

Who apologized every single time though? ME. Stupid me. 

I apologized everytime because I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to find somebody else. Mumu me. 

After a while, I tried to break up with him but he never agreed. He would sweet talk me and make it seem like all our arguments were my fault. I tried to break up with him 3 times but we ended up getting back together. We were in different states. He would ask to see me and wouldn’t want to travel down even with the knowledge that I was busy with school. His go-to language?

‘You don’t care about me’.

Eventually, I got a vacation from school and I visited my perfect bobo. My eyes saw red when I checked his phone. 

Mr Perfect was out here convincing ladies he did not have a girlfriend?? And sending and receiving nude pictures??? Sexting?? 

What blew my mind the most was that he pinned the girl’s chat on his whatsapp and guess what he saved my 2 numbers as?

‘Gega 1’

‘Gega 2’. 

Till today,I don’t know what gega means but that was the day I ended things with him. 

 

Please can this sister call him and ask what Gega means? So atleast, we’ll know how to start dissecting this matter. Ha! 

 

“THE LOVE CUBICLE.”

 

This, is not an heartbreak story. I’ll admit it broke my heart but we can say the story I’m about to tell is on a wall between betrayal and heartbreak. A border line, losing it’s balance and falling into betrayal the more I think about it. But, here we go. 

We met in my second year of this wicked school at a popular restaurant, Item 7. I got her Instagram handle and we started talking. At that point, she was spoken for. She was in a relationship but we were just friends. Until feelings came into the picture and God answered my prayers, she got out of the relationship. It was a beautiful thing then, this love thing. It was nice to actually have found someone who I could be myself around and I felt understood. 

Ofcourse, my friends saw I was happy and with the giddiness in my heart, I spoke to my friend(we’ll call him Deji) about the person who was making me so happy. 

I can’t pinpoint the moment she and Deji met each other or started talking but it was not a secret. He made it known to me that they were friends and me, who was not dating her had to be cool with it. I mean what right did I have to stop them from talking?

It was a different feeling when Deji told me she confessed to having feelings for him though. Maybe that’s when the heartbreak started. It hurt. I’ll be honest, it really hurt. Deji said he wasn’t going to promote it though, swearing by the bro code and that mended my already shattering heart a little. At least I had a friend I could count on. 

SO IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN I FOUND OUT DEJI WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP? AND WITH HER? 

Omo I first saw red. But, I felt pain. 

Pain when I saw them together.

Pain when I heard them together in his room.

Pain when I saw their linked fingers.

Pain when he hugged her beside me.

Pain when spoke about how happy she made him.

Just pain. 

This is where the betrayal slips in. But, little did I know it was stage one of the betrayal. And then, he apologized. 

Ofcourse, we eventually move on and I’ll admit this one took a lot of time but I eventually got over it. 

Karma is a bitch sha.And then she and Deji broke up. 

 

Me, who already moved on was back on the streets already. I had met someone who made me smile and even though I was swamped with work at that point, she was my go-to to destress. The next aspect of this might make me look stupid but Yes, I introduced her to Deji. 

In my head, there was a difference this time. 

He swore to me that he was a changed man and wouldn’t do me dirty again. And I believed him. I think you already know how it goes. 

Our friendship apparently meant nothing to him.

Our brother Deji in the Lord went ahead to get with the new person I ‘found’.

 

At that point, betrayal had peaked and I saw red. 

As you can see, I did not lie. It’s a combination of heartbreak and betrayal. Deji and I are still friends though. Just a friend I can not and I refuse to trust. 

We can call him an acquaintance. 

 

A true cubicle o. This one contains betrayal and heartbreak mixed in deceit. Where is that person that said boys value friendship more than girls? Let me knock his head because ah. 

 

“CONFIDANT.’’

Being with you was undisputedly different. It felt like through my flow of time, I could breathe for the first time and for once I could stop playing pretend. I met you at a point where I questioned everything and I needed comfort, so it was inevitable that I’d fall for a happy soul like her. She was someone who went through a lot and watching her gracefully fight her demons made me want to be a better person. Our first kiss was unforgettable, she held my trembling hands in a reassuring way as our lips touched. It felt like all my trouble and pain was leading to that one moment, the moment when it’d all be worth it. What’s our story? Well it was the kind where I couldn’t bear to be without her, the sheer thought made heart race and my mind uneasy. It was your cliché love story until our undoing came, “corona”. We were going strong despite the distance, we were meant to be we thought but slowly reality started to descend on our safe haven. We started talking less and less which was something that my paranoia wasn’t used to. The fights became a constant part of our relationship but you didn’t let go and I loved you for that but I was so sure you’d fall for someone and so we started to talk even less and drift away even further but we held on. Fast forward to the end of the corona break when you told me about your “cousin”, the one that was there for you during our fights and how you had feelings for him at point. It was like our fairytale ended that night and you affirmed all my insecurities. I chose to let go but the thoughts, the pain and the insecurity didn’t leave and left me suspicious of every guy you talked to or smiled at, it was unbearable. In our fights you found another ‘confidant’ and I had to suffer in silence as you grew closer to him but somewhere, deep down I knew it was happening again and so it wasn’t a surprise that after a week break from the relationship which you demanded for, you came to tell me that you had feelings for him and you were confused. I felt nothing, that moment had played in my head a thousand times and I had to suffer the pain each time, all I held was a silent wish that I was wrong this time and it was all a lie. I couldn’t believe that I was second choice to a person I considered the love of my life and I so I eased her pain and rid her of her confusions and left. It was the only thing left to do but I still wonder if my intolerant behaviors pushed you away, honestly, I hope they did, then I wouldn’t have to live with the reality that something so safe and peaceful could drive us to madness. I choose to believe we don’t live a world that cruel and so I’ll take this pain knowing it’s the kind that comes with a great love story. I only wish you could have given mine a happy ending. 

 

“6 DAYS RELATIONSHIP.’’

 

First I’ll describe when I met Tami. It was Tuesdaymorning,I had an 8 o clock lecture in school that day. Ifinished all lectures at about 12 and was still in the hall and that was when I saw her. A pretty girl with a  baby face sitting 5-7 seats beside me. I wanted to talk to her but i was kinda shy and scared to do so and with that, I left the hall knowing if we were meant to be friends, destiny would do it’s work. About 2-3 weeks later, I saw her again. Same hall. This time I noticed something though. She was not in my department. Could this be destiny? I made sure to sit close to her so I could summon the courage to speak to her. Again, I could not. She left immediately after and with that, I gave up in being her friend. 

The following month, I attended a 3 days picnic with my friends to get away from Unilorin’s stress. I was literally being forced to go to this picnic and now that I think about it, I don’t regret it. The first day of the picnic went by really fast because I didn’t know anybody apart from my friends. Until I noticed her. I remember my mind going:

“oh my Lord, destiny really want me to get close to this babe” 

I remember getting to know her name is Tamilore that day. The next day, I summoned courage to meet her. I remember stammering. I was scared as hell. She accepted to be my friend and I spoke to her through out the day more like simping. Last day of the picnic, we had fun. Her friends and mine hung out together and everybody exchanged contacts but I didn’t get her number. Maybe I was shy? She told me she was leaving and I even said bye. Kai. I got a message when I got home

You didn’t even ask for my number. 

I was happy, apologized and we continued speaking.

Lockdown came and then she and I were texting and seeing each other frequently. I got really sick and then she came visiting and bought me fruits and food. It was really nice. We started dating when she started showing me a lot of green lights and I asked her out. The relationship made me really happy. I thought she was my forever. The 6th day of our relationship was a Friday and we agreed to meet but then her mum’s friend saw her and asked her where she was going to on her way to my place. When she got to my place, her mum called her thrice and asked her to come back home for something.

I told her to go early incase it was important not knowing the family friend already called her mum to say she saw her daughter at Unilorin when Tami told her mum she was going to Tanke.I called her 30 minutes later to know what was going on. She didn’t take my call. Called her 8 times. She later returned my call saying her mum was with her phone and was reading our chats. 

I was traumatized. Her mum told me we have to break up and all that were to young and all, i was so sad, i cried guyyyy, that was the first ever time i cried cause of a girl & actually i think last tho. i even begged the mom for us to just go on a break for like a year or 2 that i can wait for tami, omo the mom told me i should not text with her daughter even if her daughter text me, i was so sad & depressed. the mom didn’t even think i’ll be depressed, omo that was when juice world released his album legends never die. that was how i survived that anxiety and depression cause omooo, i was really sad that was how my 6 days relationship went lol.

 

Ah! All these amebo aunties and pouring sand in somebody’s garri. You know the hurt is real when you cry just by the thought of them not being in your life.. 

 

“THE ARMS OF ANOTHER.”

This might be weird but I was the one that ended the relationship but yet, in some surprising way, I ended up the most heart broken of them all. It’s weird isn’t it? Well, let me break it down. 

I met this beautiful soul at camp. We got talking, I loved her vibe and we started to develop feelings for each other. Things started going smoothly and then we started dating. 

A little back story? My madam and I school in different schools, different cities. 

You already know how this thing goes. The distance makes the relationship strained and it all just seems a lot like falling out of love

But I did not fall out of love. 

I most definitely did not.

I’d like to say I was not in my right state of mind when I asked her for a break. 

But I fear I was. 

The one thought in my mind then? 

‘We’d see during the break and see if it can work out.’

I think I slowly waited and anticipated that moment. The moment we’d see each other again. In my head when I visualized it, we’d lock eyes, I’d walk up to her and we’d start talking again like we never broke up.

I think that was why it gladdened my heart when her sister still smiled at me and I smiled back.

Imaginations are not reality though and the first time I laid my eyes on her, she was in the arms of another smiling and laughing. 

My heart stung. Gently and slowly, the pain started to slip in until it reached it’s peak. 

 

Sigh. This valentine’s piece was the most interesting to compile. 

Dear reader, 

It’s beautiful to experience love and when it all spoils and gets dirty deep in the gutters, I hope you have the strength to get up and attempt this love thing again. Over and over again. I’m not one to talk about love but I’m certain what I feel for everyone who has suppored me up to this point, surpasses love. Maybe appreciation? 

Happy Valentines! 

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