Corper Corper 🌽

​The first day I saw you with her, I waited for the pain. I waited for the need to cry to hit me at 3am knowing that you were in her arms battling the cold. I waited for the knowledge that she would be stroking your head to break me. But, it never did. 

I woke up everyday, deciding to heal and smile at the world’s problems. I think that’s why I threw one or two smiles your way sometimes when you escorted her to buy corn from me. You probably thought I was not over you or I was planning something evil but Dear Corper John, I wasn’t. 

 

There are days I remember how it all started. How you were assigned to be the teacher at Magodo high school. Definitely not in love with your place of posting, you placed a call to someone I was stupid enough to believe was your sister whilst ordering for 100 naira Corn. 

It had been a busy day for me but your voice actually fascinated me. So it was no surprise that I looked at you and smiled,

‘Corper finally wants to taste what the locals consume. Let me even make fresh one for you. I just got back from the farm.’

I said to you quickly standing up to grab the fresh sack of corn, swimming past the unripe ones and fishing out the ripest one I planned to roast for myself later. 

I noticed a smile at the edge of your face. 

Ah! Chineke! God dey create abeg
I had heard the girls gossiping about how you were a big catch but now I was seeing it for myself? 

Nne, you’re a whole meal with a hot plate of banga at the side. .I remember thinking.

I didn’t allow myself show I was distracted by you. But maybe that’s how I missed you saying 

‘Alright, love you baby ’ to her on the phone. 

 

I, in my own world, pleasing myself with the fantasy of how jealous the girls at the well would be if they saw us together and wondering if the town drunk would finally leave me alone after he saw me with the fine corper, sat. I adjusted my wrapper and balanced on the wooden chair wishing I had worn the top my uncle gave me as a gift from the abroad that day. 

 

‘I noticed you speak good English. What’s your name?’

 

‘Ah my name is Chisom Corper. And yes, I always tried to speak good english.’

You chuckled and I knew I made a mistake with the sentence. Ah. Corper that I was thinking we would be good together? Chi why now? I beat myself up in  my head and just flipped the corn to the other side. Atleast if my english wasn’t good, my corn could mesmerize you. 

 

You didn’t speak to me after that sentence and in my head, I already messed things up. Maybe that’s why I asked you not to pay when I gave your corn to you. But, I’m still very grateful for the two thousand naira you shoved in my hand for hundred naira corn.

 

Not another word was said to me but you kept coming back. You would come back tired and your white shirt would be soaked in sweat but you would offer me a smile and I would say 

‘Ah corper, welcome back o. How was today’s work?’

 

Does she ask how your day goes Corper John? Does she? 

 

The day you asked for my number was a cold day. Market was very down and I needed sales to pay Papa Ify’s rent.  So this time when you came, i had no smiles to offer because too much was going on in my head already. You noticed, sat on my wooden chair with your khaki shorts and asked me what was wrong. I started crying.  You offered me money but I refused to take it and you patted me until the tears stopped. I made your usual corn for you but this time you squeezed 5000 naira in my hand and said thanks. I was surprised, I stood there when you stopped mid track and started walking back. 

 

My ego would have given you the money at that point if you asked for it but I really needed the money and maybe that was why I was silently praying to God you were not turning back to ask for your money. 

 

“Chisom, do you have a phone?’ You asked in that english accent of yours I heard the girls talking about while shouting corper corper the day before. 

I shuffled. Opening my wrapper to reveal my Nokia 33 I had wrapped safely to ensure it doesn’t fall out during the hustle and bustle of my day. 

‘Yes, yes I do Corper.’ 

‘Please call me John.’ 

At that point the song Johnny started ringing in my head and I had unconsciously started singing along. You looked at me, chuckled and held your hand out. I was confused at that point but I handed you my phone. 

‘Chi can I get your number?’

I nod frantically not being able to get over the fact that your palm grazed my hands when I handed you the phone.  You typed your number into my phone and dialed it and I was grateful Aunty Ada sent me credit the day before. 

 

The day you called me, another cold day.  3pm, Saturday Afternoon. You asked me if I could come deliver corn to your house and I gladly agreed. This time, I wore my best wrapper and a top my breasts could fall out from at any time. You gave me your address and 45 minutes later, I was knocking at your day shouting 

‘Corper John, it’s me o.’

 

You walked towards the door in shorts and a white top. Different attire than the khaki shorts I was used to seeing everyday but Ah! Corper John you’re a fine man. You smiled at me, your dimples making me weak in the knees. How I managed to walk in when you told me to come in still remains a mystery. 

 

I dropped your corn on the table and looked back at you smiling. 

‘I made roasted pear o. Just the way you like it.’ 

 

You tapped the bed, signaling for me to come sit next to you and I walked very calmly to do so, my heart though was racing like a cheetah’s. 

I kissed you first. I noticed you were shy and kissing you was something I always wanted to do. It escalated from there. I loved the way you said my name so I showed you different positions my ex had taught me because ah, I wanted to impress you. So when you screamed my name, I felt very accomplished. I remember you stammering

‘Chi- chi-’ when I was riding you and that made me smile before you flipped me over.

 

 

It was bliss Corper John. And after we finished, you slept off. Me in your arms, smiling like a proud woman. Corper John was now my boyfriend. It was getting very late when I woke up. I opened my eyes to see you eating the corn and watching football. 

Man needs to chop after such rigorous work, I thought to myself chuckling in the process. That was when you looked back at me. 

‘Ah Chisom I was just about to wake you. When are you leaving now?’

‘i should be on my way now sha. It’s getting dark.’ I answered you wondering why you were speaking to me like that. 

‘Okay. Take that 3500 naira on the table as transport and for the corn.’ You said and continued watching the game. I was embarrassed. But the first tear didn't fall at that time.  

That was the last word you said to me. You didn’t say anything when I gathered the clothes you had removed in haste from my body, me praying you didn’t rip them. 

You didn’t say anything to me when I took the money on the table and you didn’t reply my bye when I left. 

You didn’t pick my calls the next day when you didn’t come to buy corn.  And the day after. 

When the first tear dropped? When you eventually picked your phone up the 3rd day and told me to stop disturbing you because you were a married man and didn’t have time for frivolities like me.

 

 

And then, when she came searching for you the month after, stopping by my shop to ask if i knew her husband's address, I refrained from answering. Some say it was the shattering of my heart or the way my chest began to hurt but i was too stunned to speak. She's beautiful Corper John. 

Unlike a local corn seller like me. 

That's probably why you blocked me from calling you. 

 

I've always heard that you know when it is over. When i saw you throw my corn away and claim i was just a dirty corn seller by the roadside, i knew it was over. When her laughter filled the air as she playfully hit your chest saying 'ahaan John that's mean jor'

 

There? 

There, my heart broke.

 

 

*Clears throat*

Dear reader, 

MEN! The saying 'scum has no gender'cannot be overemphasized but then Corper John? A different type of scum abeggg.Let me know what you think in the comments and do have a great week ahead! ;)

 

 

Image from The Guardian Nigeria