“Ugly” 🍩🍦

​Can I ask you a question? Would you mind being tasked for a few minutes? Now I ask, what do I do when I know death is rushing fast to knock on my door next?

I can’t fight it.

I can’t run.

I can’t cry. 

So I sit. Eye open, wishing I knew how to say a prayer. 

I might just use the last few minutes I have left to tell you a story.

My story.

On Tuesday, I got a gift from ‘Anon’ as they would call it in this generation of ours. It was the sweetest thing.I was laying in my bed flipping through TikTok when my phone rang. It was a call from a strange number but i picked it regardless of the fact that I avoid picking strange numbers.

“Am I talking to Mariam?” her squeaky voice asked

“Yes, yes you are.” I replied, slightly surprised, slightly intrigued. 

“Okay, please I’m meant to deliver something to you. It’s an anonymous gift”. 

I have an anon? My first thought?  I mean most people don’t like me and I basically have zero friends. So, imagine my shock when she told me I had a gift from an anonymous person. 

“Alright… umm…do you need my address?” I asked. I was a first timer at these things. I didn’t know how they worked. 

“No no no, your Anon already sent the address. I’m just calling to ask if you’re presently at home?”

She replied.

My Anon already sent the address? Hm?

“Wait, first, is this a joke?” I answered, positive she was just messing with me. 

“No, ma. It’s a box and a letter.”

A box and a letter? I had so many other questions, but mentally, I decided to stop questioning her. She was just a delivery person after all. She definitely had no information to tell.

“Alright I’m home.” I replied shortly. 

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” she answered and with that, the call ended. 

In 10 minutes, I heard the doorbell. I was excited, very excited. I stood up, grabbed a robe and proceeded to rush downstairs. When I opened the door, there was no one there. Out of curiosity,I looked around hoping to see someone but no one was in sight. Still with a curious look on,I looked down and sighted a box with a letter safely tucked in it. 

Gently,I picked the box up. 

I read the letter first. 

“I’ll send 3 things. What’s the first letter of each thing I send? Put it together, love.”

This whole mystery man thing, eh? I was digging it! 

Hurrying, I ripped the box apart. In it, laid a doughnut. 

Just one doughnut.

But, it was my favorite kind. 

Chocolate glazed doughnut with coconut shavings as toppings. 

Doughnut. Letter D. 

Hmm. Alright. 

I dove in. 

And best believe the doughnut tasted heavenly. 

On Thursday, 

I got a call from the same number that called me the last time.

“Hi Miss Mariam, you know what it is. Your anon has ordered you something else. I have to deliver this one fast. I fear it’ll melt quickly. Your Anon said you were home already, so I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” 

Again, she hung up. I admit, I was quite suspicious. My Anon said I was home already? How did he/she know I was in my house? 

Then I figured it was definitely someone I knew. 

That would be the only reason they knew when I was at home. 

Right?

As always, she was on time. In 5 minutes, my doorbell rang again. I rushed this time, hoping to meet the delivery person and have a conversation on who exactly my anon was?

Of course, I was beginning to get curious.

I rushed downstairs, flung my door open and again, I only saw a box with another letter tucked into it safely.

“Did you enjoy the doughnut love? What’s the first letter of this one? Add it to the previous letter"

I ripped the box apart and in it was a tub of ice cream. I began to get confused. Was this person attempting to make me fat? 

Ice cream. 

Letter I.

Hmm. Alright. 

I grabbed a spoon and dove in. 

It was my favorite after all? 

Chocolate, cookie dough and mint mixed with too many toppings to count. 

And again, best believe it tasted heavenly. 

On Saturday, she called again. I was sitting on my couch, watching my favorite show when she called this time. 

“Good day Miss Mariam! I have another gift for you from your anon.” She said, in a voice that indicated she had no strength for conversation. 

“Wow, another gift? Is there a way to thank him, please? He has just been sending so many sweet things. I think he deserves a thank you from me. “ 

“Oh, that won’t be necessary”. she said

“Please do tell him a thank you on my behalf.”i replied with a disappointed voice.

“Oh alright.”

She sounded sorry for about 10 seconds then recovered quickly

“I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

Again, like the past 2 times, the doorbell rang. 

Again, like the past 2 times, I rushed hoping to get to talk to the delivery person.

Again, like the past 2 times, I saw no one. 

Again, like the past 2 times, I saw a box and a letter. 

Again,like the past 2 times, I read the letter first.

“Confession time love. What’s the last letter? 

You are already doing it anyway.”

To say I was confused would be an understatement. I was already doing what? 

I hurriedly tore the box apart.

In it, I saw earrings. 

Earrings. 

Letter E. 

D for doughnuts. 

I for Ice cream 

E for earrings. 

D. I. E. 

What the fuck???

I threw the box far away from me and then, I screamed. 

What was going on? What the fuck was going on? 

I ran to grab my phone with shaking hands. I tried to dial the number that called me the past 3 times. It didn’t go through. 

What the fuck was going on??

Was this a sick prank or something???

What the fuck???

On Sunday, I was scared for my life.I felt so sick, haven't felt this way in a while. My stomach had begun to rumble and I had started to vomit. What the fuck was going on?? I felt weak when the doorbell rang. I gathered the last of my strengths and walked to the front door.

I flung it open and saw just a letter on the floor. 

Laying there. 

In fear, I called out

“Show yourself to me, you bastard.”

Nobody replied. I picked the letter up with shaky hands. 

Closed my door after. 

My legs had begun to shake, so I sat on the floor feeling like shit and tried to read the letter. 

“When we were in primary 5, you broke my pencil and asked me to die. You told me I wasn’t supposed to be alive because it was a shock ugly people like me could be created. 

If you haven’t noticed yet, yes, I hold a grudge pretty well. 

You cheerfully ate the doughnut, you stupid glutton. I watched your last days through your windows and most definitely watched you devour the doughnut. 

Foolish girl. 

The doughnut tasted heavenly, yes?

I could tell from the little sounds of pleasure you gave when you chewed that you didn’t detect the arsenic I put in the dough. And yes, arsenic was my top ingredient.

I wonder if the vomiting has started. Or the diarrhea? Or the convulsions? 

The ice cream. Oh! sweet ice cream. It was your favorite flavor yes? So, you didn’t realize when the acetyl chlorine melted on your tongue, did you? 

Of course it was in excess. Are you confused already? Drowsy maybe? Does your head bang?

Sit back and die, baby girl. 

Don’t fight it.”

You might be wondering,"did I fight it?"

No. I did not fight it. 

I can hear the nasty soul of death knocking on my door ‘knock knock’ and with the way my eyes are closing and I felt life was beginning to slip away right underneath me, I know I opened the door. 

Dear Reader,

Please don’t keep a grudge and please, I do not support violence( it’s needed sometimes sha but abeg). Hope you’re doing well? And I hope you enjoyed this one? Did you notice it’s something different? Yes yes, I’m trying different things out now

Let’s see how that goes!

-Your favorite inconsistent blogger.

Image from the Guardian…

m