To hold. 🥹

Hold me while i scrunch in pain,

When my head lacks abyss but is blank because i can’t feel again,

When my body shakes from bouts of hurt,

When my eyes sting with tears that shall forever remain unshed,

Hold me.

Hold me when i can’t do this again,

When life becomes too tough and the paths become too rough,

When all there is to look forward to is stress, anger and hurt,

When the only strand i hold on to is slowly fading,

Hold me.

Hold me when my heart aches,

When words crack and open the little bullet holes i’ve created for myself in this organ of mine,

When i begin to allow life actually affect me in one way or the other,

When i begin to spiral out of control because crashing out is the only way i’ve ever been familiar with,

When i don’t act like me anymore,

Hold me.

And even on days when i smile the widest but my eyes tell a different story,

When i’m jumping and hopping but my heart is sad and heavy,

I hope you look through the show,

I hope you know it’s pretense.

I hope you know to hold me.

---

I don’t know what to say. It’s been a while. It’s been a long, long time. I’ve not written to you in years. Well, a year and then some. Wow. I’ve been navigating through life y’know? It’s been so hard, I won’t lie to you. So many things I never expected to happen have occurred. Things I thought I’d never move on from.

The lava has literally bursted out of the volcano and has burnt me horribly but, I shall survive. I shall apply shea butter to my wounds and I shall go to the volcano again and reach for my gold. I shall survive.

-My favorite inconsistent writer. Idk if I’m yours anymore.